It's time. I know it. My PI knows. Heck, I imagine everyone on Twitter knows it, too. My countdown clock is ticking LOUDLY. My time as a post-doctoral research associate is coming to its natural and intended end.

I am currently working on job applications. And yes, that means my anxieties and insecurities are on log (10) right now.  Considering my frustrations with academic culture right now, I've been especially anxious about applying for academic ANY jobs, I'm scared. I'm just not feeling good enough, like I'm coming up short. I feel the pressure to be perfect - in every sense. Oh, and I don't want to be apart of toxic department culture which is not uncommon at many universities.

Someone recommended one way to deal with all of that chatter is to only apply for jobs that I am absolutely over-the-moon excited to apply for. Yea, I've seen a few that "fit me", I could do that and would like to do....but they didn't make my belly leap with excitment...Until a friend shared one with me. I swear. This job sounds absolutely ideal, and it's in a geographic region I adore. 

So, what's the hold up?

Me. I got to get out of my own way. I got to QUIT disqualifying myself. I need to quit fidgeting over my cover letter and statements and just do it. But every time I put words to paper I feel like I come up short. Waaaay short and selection committees will pitch my folder in the trash and laugh all of the while. What I really wanna do is stand on a soap box and yell:

"Hire me, Dammit!

I'm awesome. I got this Public Science, Outreach, Ecology, Science Communication, Engaging Broader Audiences ish on Lock. ON. LOCK. Son!

I got credentials. I got connects. I got the personality. Check my online creds, B. You want me on your team money!"

...........But I doubt I can submit a video cover letter. LOL


Then as I was preparing my materials I came across this....

I wrote this in 2007. 2007! Three years before I defended. More than 8 years ago from today.

(Thought creeps into my head...."He feeds the birds" Matthew 6:26)

And I ain't missed a meal yet.

I'm not perfect, but I am Perfect for some Institution. I'm searching for that perfect match.