This article was published in Scientific American’s former blog network and reflects the views of the author, not necessarily those of Scientific American
This week millions of people will find themselves standing in an airport-security line, hoping their supposedly travel-size toiletries don't create a national security incident. If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember this: at least you’re not transporting human remains that you just unearthed from a Mayan burial site.
A couple of weeks ago, we asked Scientific American readers to tell us about the weirdest things they’ve taken through airport security. Here, in no particular order, are our favorites.
1. Mayan Burial Site Remains
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"I am an archaeologist with the Maya Research Program. Each year we export numerous scientific samples from our excavations in Belize to the USA for analysis (with permission from the Belize government, of course). These samples include ceramics, carbon, macrobotanicals, soil samples, and human remains. It is always entertaining when customs asks what we are transporting: Agent: “What’s in the box?” Me: “Scientific samples.” Agent: “What kind?” Me: “Soil, ceramics, carbon....and human remains” Agent: “Ok, let’s take a look. Wait, did you say human remains?” Me: “Yes” Agent: “Supervisor!” —Colleen Hanratty
2. Fertility Treatment Packed in Dry Ice and Tupperware
"Once I took a fertility treatment in a Tupperware box with smoking dry ice through customs to a friend of a friend in Atlanta, from Mexico. I also had some soda bottles with the face of then-Mexican presidential candidate Ernesto Zedillo. The funny thing is that the customs officer ignored the smoking Tupperware piece and asked me about the bottles with Zedillo’s image instead." —Carlos Martinez
3. Poison Arrows
"After living a month in the Amazon rainforest in Ecuador with an indigenous tribe, I brought back the quiver and some of the poisonous arrows I was using to hunt monkey, tapir, etc. There were no problems passing the Ecuadorian customs, but the Miami airport staff weren’t as welcoming. They made me throw out the poisonous arrows, but I kept the quiver!"— Jean-Romain Roy
4. 500 Grams Ground Cava Root
"About 20 years ago, returning to the UK after spending a few weeks in the South Pacific, I became rather concerned about how I would be treated at customs should they find the 500-gram plastic bag of kava I had picked up in Samoa. It was ground kava root and bore a striking resemblance to cut heroin I had tested whilst working at the MP forensic science labs. In the end I decided the best course of action was to be up front about it, so as I walked into the “Something to Declare” area at Heathrow, I removed the bag from my luggage, held it out in front of me, and as I approached the customs officer, I told him what it was. It turned out I was worrying unnecessarily. The man barely glanced at me before telling me to carry on."—beanfeast
5. Star Trek Phaser
"In the late 1980s, I was involved with some of the STAR TREK and other pop culture conventions around the country. One Friday morning at LaGuardia airport, the security guard at check-in was going through my carry-on bag when, with some degree of alarm, he suddenly asked, “What’s this?” His cause for concern was a replica of a hand phaser from the original series. After an explanation, I was allowed to pass, either because I had an honest face, or because the phaser was, of course, non-operational."— James H. Burns
6. Alcohol-Fueled RC Plane, plus Extra Fuel
"In 1992 I brought a small alcohol-fueled remote-control plane with two-channel transmitter, starter motor, battery, and can of fuel in a custom-made carry-on through customs. I put the box on the x-ray scanner, and watched it go through. The engine, wiring coiled on the battery clips, the transmitter antennae, and various electronic components were clearly visible - and looked exactly like what one sees in your typical bomb-plot movie. An agent raised an eyebrow and said "wow! What's that?" I explained exactly what it was, even pointing out the fuel can. Another agent commended my workmanship. I then took the box off the belt and carried it on the plane without further incident. Things have changed. I suppose I'd be pinned down, and cuffed, and jailed if I tried that today."— lstrohl
7. Congressional Medal of Honor
"This is not a personal experience, but one that was relayed to me by my father-in-law following his Marine unit reunion. Their commanding officer, who told the original story, was on his way to the reunion when a TSA inspector at the airport asked about a star-shaped item in his baggage. Apparently he thought it might be some sort of throwing weapon. The owner explained that it was his Congressional Medal of Honor that he had received as a pilot in the South Pacific."— James Simpson
8. Metal Guitar
"The object is a National guitar, used in both blues and Hawaiian music. I often flew with it and always carried it on board after a flight to Ithaca when it was sent to New York by mistake. When I sent it through the x-ray, mostly the security would not bat an eye. But about one time in five, they freaked out and demanded I open the case immediately. Most of the security people didn’t know what they were seeing. They saw a guitar shape, with strings. But National guitars are made of metal and are x-ray opaque, so they show up bright white instead (as opposed to the kind of ghostly image that wood guitars have). One could have hidden anything in a National guitar body, but most of the time airport security didn’t figure that out. The ones who did were always satisfied when I opened the case and strummed it, showing them that it was a real instrument, mostly empty inside."— John Ullman
9. Giant Loaf of Freshly Baked Bread
'The weirdest thing I brought through airport security was a very large, freshly baked loaf of homemade sourdough bread as my second item for carry on. I was up very early on a Monday morning, baked the massive loaf (2.2 K/5 lbs., over a foot in diameter and about five inches thick)! When I put the paper bag with the bread through the X-ray scanner, the TSA agent got a puzzled look on his face and said, "I can't let you carry this through security..." I thought, "Oh no, my bread..." The TSA agent smiled and said, "We are going to have to confiscate that loaf of bread, did you bring any butter with you?"' — Dennis Sullivan
10. Peruvian Blow Gun
"In 1992, while returning from a trip to the Amazon rain forests in Peru, I carried a 7 feet long blowpipe and arrow package (unpoisoned) from Lima to Omaha via Miami— something that would be completely banned in the post 9/11 era."— Chhanda Bewtra