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This month at The Psychology Podcast we discussed the most taboo sexual fantasies with Justin Lehmiller, the importance of going "with the grain" of you nature with Robert Plomin, the importance of choosing the best environment to create habit change with James Clear, and the importance of timing for virtually everything you do in your life with Dan Pink. Have a listen below!
The Science of Sexual Fantasies with Justin Lehmiller
Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What you Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Lehmiller is an award winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 40 pieces of academic writing to date, including a textbook entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality. On this episode we cover a wide range of provocative and fascinating findings from the largest survey on sexual fantasies of all time. Topics include:
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The most common sexual fantasies among humans
The most taboo sexual fantasy category
Fantasy vs. desire
Reducing shame for the content of one’s sexual fantasies
The relationship between the fantasy-prone personality and sexual fantasies
The importance of sexual self-actualization for well-being
The benefits of open communication of our fantasies with our partners
Sexual orientation vs. sexual flexibility
The truth behind widely held stereotypes about BDSM
Gender differences in sexual fantasies
What your sexual fantasies say about you
The sexiest superhero
OCD and gender bending
Does size really matter?
Which fantasy is the least likely to work out when it’s actually acted out?
How can more people turn their fantasies into reality in a healthy way?
How can we break the barriers in society that prevent us from properly communicating our sexual desires?
How DNA Makes Us Who We Are with Robert Plomin
Dr. Robert Plomin is Professor of Behavioural Genetics at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology, and Neuroscience at King's College London. He previously held positions at the University of Colorado Boulder and Pennsylvania State University. He was elected a Fellow of the Academy of Medical Sciences and of the British Academy for his twin studies and his groundbreaking work in behavioral genetics. He is the author or coauthor of many books, including G is for Genes: The Impact of Genetics on Education and Achievement (with Kathryn Asbury), and most recently, BluePrint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are.
In this wide-ranging conversation, we discuss the following topics:
How Robert became interested in genetics
The importance of going “with the grain” of your nature
Robert’s twin studies methodology
How genotypes become phenotypes
How kids select their environments in ways that correlate with their genetic inclinations
The genetic influence on television viewing
How virtually everything is moderately heritable
The effects of extreme trauma on the brain
The developmental trajectory of heritability
How the abnormal is normal
How we could use polygenic information to inform educational interventions
The potential for misuse of genetic information to select children for particular educational tracks
Recent research on shared environmental influences on educational achievement
The “nature of nurture”
The variability of heritability across different cultures and levels of SES
The role of education on intelligence
How teachers can and cannot make a difference
The genetics of social class mobility
Free will and how we can change our destiny
See further reading here.
How to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones with James Clear
James Clear’s website, jamesclear.com, receives millions of visitors each month, and hundreds of thousands subscribe to his email newsletter. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Time, and Entrepreneur, and on CBS This Morning, and is taught in colleges around the world. Clear is the creator of The Habits Academy, the premier training platform for organizations and individuals that are interested in building better habits in life and work. His latest book is called “Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones”.
In this episode we discuss:
How the mind is a “suggestion engine”
How James has grown since his last appearance on The Psychology Podcast
The importance of “dichotomy transcendence”
The importance of choosing the best environment for your genes
How was easily fall into “frictionless” habits
How environment design plays a crucial role in habit change
The four laws of behavior change
The multiple levels of behavior change
The link between identity and habit change
The importance of small habits
Why we should stop focusing on goals and focus on systems instead
Why it’s easier to build a new habit in a new environment
How to go from good to great
Motivation, Selling, and Perfect Timing with Dan Pink
Dan Pink is the author of six provocative best-selling books— including his newest: When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing. His other books include A Whole New Mind, Drive, and To Sell is Human. Pink’s books have won multiple awards and have been translated into 38 languages.
In this episode we discuss the following topics:
What is the best way to motivate people?
The case for “metapay” among self-actualized people
How purpose is a powerful motivator
The “motivation continuum”
The ways contingent rewards can go awry
Is it possible to be "unhealthily autonomous"?
The importance of “killing your darlings”
Dark triad selling vs. cooperative selling
The “identity civil war” and zero-sum thinking
The new ABCs of communication
The myth of the necessity of extraversion for sales success
The importance of time management
The best and worst times to do…
When is the best time to have a mid-life crisis?